But you'll have to pry the retinol night serum from my cold dead hands!
|Jan 16||Public post|
Picture the scene; you’ve lit your scented candle, made yourself a mug of hot chocolate or coffee (maybe you’ve poured a glass of wine, if that’s your thing) and are about to curl up on the couch with a book or the latest must-watch Netflix series when you decide to add some skincare to your evening of relaxation. So you reach for a sheet mask because you have four or five of them that you should probably get around to trying. Maybe that’s just me!
Tearing open the packet you’re met with a mask so full of serum that it’s slimy or so dry that you can’t imagine it restoring your skin in the 15-20 minutes the instructions claim will give you a brand new face. Looking at the mask you wonder if it will cover your entire face. Do those hooks for behind your ears ever reach people’s actual ears? Whose nose is placed there? Who doesn’t love a good injection of serum right in the eye because the under-eye folds are never under your eyes. Maybe my face is weirdly shaped!
After more minutes than you’ll admit to should you ever be asked, you manage to unfurl the sheet mask and place it on your face in a manner similar to, but not quite the same as the instruction diagram. Now comes the relaxing part, while it works its magic! Except every time you so much as blink the mask starts to slip. As you push it back into place, you have to decide between enjoying your drink, being able to see your TV/computer/book and having “perfectly hydrated” skin. Multitasking is not an option in the land of ill-fitting sheet masks and all sheet masks are ill-fitting.
Here’s the thing, sheet masks are a scam. They serve absolutely no purpose other than to frustrate you. An unpopular opinion judging by the amount of sheet mask selfies on my Instagram feed, but the skincare hill I am prepared to die on.
Looking for skin that’s more hydrated? Try a serum containing hyaluronic acid. It’ll do a much better job and involve a lot less hassle. Looking for something to help with the odd hormonal blemish? Try salicylic acid or a clay based mask. No need for sheet masks.
Skincare as a concept has gotten a lot of attention over the last 12-ish months. From people turning to it as a coping mechanism, to others believing all skincare is a con or that the best skincare trick is being rich. An industry that tells women and it is mainly women, although the skincare revolution for men is on the way if Frank Ocean has anything to do with it, they need to look brighter, younger, plumper, and smoother is obviously a tool of the patriarchy. That won’t stop you having to pry the retinol night serum from my cold dead hands before I give it up because, well, I’m a mass of contradictions and I’m OK with that.