Learning to grieve: Part 2

Wednesday Letter #25

An incomplete list of what grief looks like five months on. Read the first installment here

  • Comfort eating

  • Hiding from my inboxes.

  • Worrying that I’m crying too much or not crying enough.

  • Knowing that grief is normal—it may not feel like it is, but it is. 

  • Continuing to read as many books and articles about grief as I can get my hands on.

  • Remembering random events from my childhood when I haven’t thought about them in years.

  • Dealing with a strange combination of insomnia and oversleeping, neither of which make for a restful night. 

  • Wondering whether spending so much time alone is helpful or whether I’ve isolated myself. Is it self-care or self-sabotage?

  • Writing—so much writing—without knowing what to do with it. Maybe someday I’ll turn it into something more cohesive, but for now journalling is enough.

  • Listening to a playlist of songs that remind me of dad—it’s a mix of songs he loved, songs we enjoyed together and songs he disliked, but they remind me of him anyway. That is to say; the playlist includes Cornflakegirl Girl by Tori Amos because I played it on a loop for an entire summer during my teens. It drove him around the bend but has been my nickname ever since—yes, that’s where my blog name comes from!

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